Give thanks. Walk. 2010

but I don't want to join the REAL WORLD...

I am almost 22 and I still live like a child.

I work, but my money has been used on the things I want, not to support myself. And I do not use it responsibly.

I block out reality incredibly effectively. I don't acknowledge it. If something happens to disturb my fantasy world of childlike irresponsibility, I ignore it. That is until the problem is so big it's not just my problem anymore.

Anyone who knew me in High School probably doesn't believe this. Because I used to be the picture of responsibility. And when it comes to certain things I still am.

I am punctual to a fault, almost always early for everything. I shoulder more than my share of responsibilities and worries at work.

But my scholarly life has deteriorated to nothing now... I can't stand school anymore. And my personal life, never eventful but once satisfying, is now completely nonexistent.

And I still don't want to grow up.

I Will Never Understand...

People's fear about gay marriage.

Let me be very clear- I am not gay, prop 8 will in no way effect my eligibility to get married, but I will never marry until everyone can.


It has always seemed like a very big non-issue to me. Marriage is about the love shared between two people and the life they are promising to build together. And I know that "commitment ceremonies" are supposed to be about the same thing, but why do we need a distinction?

I don't understand the worry over gay marriage being taught in schools.

So children will learn that everyone can realize the dream of walking down the aisle, no matter whom they love... is that bad? They will learn that no matter what they believe, or how they choose to express themselves, they are all equal under the law. They will learn that the things that make each of us different are not as important as what makes us the same... our humanity.

The only threat I can see, is the threat to churches and ministers and parents who use our differences to inspire fear and distrust in their children, thus creating another generation of Americans who will do the church's will without questioning.

That is the real threat- the fear that children will grow up with a different set of beliefs than those of their parents.

But I can already say with certain authority, that even if this measure is passed, kids will still learn about it. Even if you try to control what your kids learn, they will always discover what you tried to protect them from.

A good example is sex education, which some parents pull their kids out of in an effort to protect them. Kids may not be in the room when the lessons are taught by teachers (who will do their best to explain that pregnancy can only be 100% prevented by abstinence), but on the playground, the other children will fill them in on what they missed, and it will not be as accurate as their teacher taught it.

So what is it you're really teaching your children? That ignorance is preferable to truth? That information from any source is reliable? The lesson I see is that parents can't be trusted.

Why is that? Because, trust me, your child was excited to learn. But you pulled her out of class based on your own fears, and now she is eager to know what she missed. And when she finds out, she will resent your interference, because now she doesn't really understand what all the other kids are talking about.

We have warped enough children with fear and intolerance in America. It is time we teach them a truly valuable lesson. That information is a power that frees you to think and act for yourself, that our mutual humanity entitles all of us to equal treatment under law, and that discrimination will never be seen again.

Our continent was first colonized by those Europeans fleeing religious intolerance. They wished to worship how they pleased without the interference of government.

Last night I heard a Republican Party official say that the GOP needed to return to fundamental values, one of them being individual liberty and lack of interference from government. And I laughed at the irony. Because I can think of a few non-liberties and interferences they'd like to make law: banning abortion, banning gay marriage, banning non-abstinence sex education.

So I'll sum up my rant with this: I will never understand intolerance. I will never support injustice. I will never vote to strip anyone of liberty. And I will never get married above Victoria Falls or go on my Safari honeymoon while California's Constitution strips people of the right to marry.

Okay...

So my previous post is about guys ignoring me and I need to amend that.


All the decent guys ignore me, you know, the ones I might actually consider.

But the wierdos LOVE me. They bug me when I'm just minding my own business- eating for instance, or as I'm riding my bike home, or when I'm listening to my iPod waiting for the bus- or on the bus for that matter.

So when I'm open to possibility I'm ignored, and when I'm tired, cranky, and trying to get things done I'm interrupted.

And the wierdos are really persistent too- they don't take a hint.


What's wrong with me??

Is Brilliance a Turn-Off?

So what is it about me that just seems to scream "PRUDE!"? I mean damnit why is there just no one out there who sees a girl with a brain and says "damn, I want some of that"?

Why is a girl who reads condemned to spinsterhood? It doesn't seem like anyone else in the world is capable of reading "Mary Wore Her Red Dress" let alone "Mr Darcy Takes a Wife." Why can't I have an intelligent opinion on government policy without being looked at like I'm growing a gigantic second head? So what if I refuse to wear short shorts or skirts that would show my ass if I bent over?

I'm not disagreeable to fooling around. And I'm not looking for "the one" right now. But I swear, everyone must take one look at me and decide I'm too serious to date.

So here's my newsflash for guys. Just because a girl takes life seriously doesn't mean she takes everything seriously. And sometimes those serious girls are serious because they never get laid. Make a serious girl happy today.

Slave of the Retail World...

I work for New York and Company. Last week, my first week of school, I also worked 37 hours. And while I'm not complaining since I am being paid for it, I will never get another job in retail after this one.

Allright, I lied, I am complaining.

I hate cleaning up after people. My job consists of working with people half of the time and cleaning up after their messes the other half. I'm sick of folding all the clothes on the display tables and laying them out perfectly only to redo them again after the slobs trash them. If people would treat the stores they shop in like their own closets, there would be a much smaller amount of mess (because everyone's closet is messy sometines).

I hate the fact tht I have to stand all the time. In heels, mind you. On tile floors. And I am prohibited from wearing sneakers. There should be law that says floors need to be padded if workers are standing. Or there should be stools to sit on- one or the other.

I hate that I can't wear jeans. That probably sucks the most. My entire wardrobe revolves around jeans and flowy skirts. Take out the jeans, and you've destroyed my sense of style.

And even though I'm making quite a bit of money, I never have time to SPEND it, so that sucks.

So for anyone out there contemplating a job in retail, run away. You may be POOR, but it's better than being ANNOYED, SORE and BITTER!

tHiS HuMaN WilL SeLf DesTrUcT

So I think that as much as we think we like to be happy, we all really want to be unhappy. Then we get to complain about our unhappiness. So I've figured out that I'm alway sabotaging my own love life by taking the image of someone I'm interested in and creating a perfect being that no one could ever live up to and expecting that person to be my creation. And I know I'm not the only one who does this, that is what is sad. Obviously there won't be hope for me until I change.

The Good Ol' Days

YOSEMITE
Originally uploaded by Enduring Tempest.

Back When I was Daddy's little Princess. Why are things always so difficult when we get older? Things used to be simple, planned and orderly, now everything is chaos. In our new age of iPods, laptops, hybrid cars, and cell phones, are we really simlifying our lives or complicatig them further? I know one thing... I wish I could be Daddy's little Princess again.